Delightful Misunderstandings

DISCLAIMER: I know the title is poor grammar just felt like paying a little homage to “Is You Is Or Is You Aint My Baby a 1944 Louis Jordan song:-)

“To be or not to be (natural),that is the question?” Soooo Question: What is it to be natural? I am getting mixed reviews. Is it a matter of opinion? Are there certain qualifications to meet the status of a “natural sistah”? If so, what are they? I’m getting a lot of varying answer on this. Are you natural if your hair is without chemicals? For example if you have never used a perm or relaxer are you considered natural? Or are you still considered not natural if you press/ blow dry/ flatiron your hair (basically use heat to alter the texture of your hair). I’ve also heard that even if you don’t apply heat you aren’t considered “natural” if you use products to alter the texture of your hair.*currently pulling at my own hair out of confusion

I had never put so much thought into it before I heard a few you tubers and read a few blogs with people stating their position on the debate. I know I am new to embracing my (what I consider natural) hair but I thought at long as there isn’t a perm or relaxer in my head I was considered “natural” already. Am I wrong? Does it really matter? What do you think?

Hello Everyone, my name is Erin and I am addicted to beauty products (insert “Hello Erin”) I would like to confess that in my bathroom I own 6 shampoos, 8 conditioners, 4 oil sheen cans, 3 mousse bottles, 5 hair styling gels, 3 containers of shea butter, 4 containers of pomade, 2 bottle of heat protectant, 3 serums, 7 replenish packs…. you get the picture. And this is just Hair Products!!! Don’t get me started on make up and body products. Ladies and Gents I have a problem. Every time I step foot into a Beauty Supply store, Drugstore, Target, heck even a grocery store and I walk out with SOMETHING. It doesn’t matter if that’s what I came in for or not I can’t help but head straight over to the beauty counter or hair supply section and waste my money on some new product that I eventually grow tired of before I discover something new. I am horrified at the amount of money I waste of products that I know I will probably never use again.

This is my public declaration that I, Erin will work with only the products I have until I develop a healthy hair regimen that works for me and not purchase anything new until that day comes and I am only replenishing what I am missing. (At lease for hair products…now make up is another story >_< )

Ever get the urge to take a pair of pruning shears to your head? No? What about a blow torch? Nope? Well I’m feeling the urge, I’m brimming with complete frustration over my hair. I know its not supposed to be easy but oh brother can’t a girl get a break! Wash and go hair does NOT work for me. My schedule makes of hard for me to style with braid outs or bantu knots every day. I hate having to put a lot of product in my hair. Ahhhh! I just needed to vent.

12:01am Whenever I exit a room from now on I’m going to drop a smoke capsule on the floor so it appears that I disapear…like Batman

12:11am I would also like to incorporate my own theme music and exaggerated sound effects (kapow, poof, zoom zoom) in my daily routine…like Batman

12:13am I will be posting applications for a sidekick soon…like Batman

12:15am I’m going through a transition phase…like Batman :-)

12:23am Now that I’ve found my bat cave its only natural that complete the process

12:23am Hmmm now I just need an arch enemy….

12:46am I’m getting rid of my cell phone and can now be reached by the bright bat like signal in the sky…

12:47amWhen was the last time you saw a #mime? Like for real? Do they still exist?

12:52amThe voices in my head may not be real, but they sure have some good ideas!

1:17amBy the way I’m still looking for that sidekick, only requirements are your name must rhyme with banana or ninja for copyright purposes :-)

1:30amGoing to form our own version of justice league except we will make the only guy wear a unitard and boots like wonder woman

1:31am I like to think of it as reverse sexism :-)

1:33am *insert happy theme music*

3:10am When fighting the forces of evil I wouldn’t give them time to rant on their plans of destruction I would just kick their ass….like Batman

3:12am Yes I am still making my transitions to superhero…if u look closely you will see that my #Batman updates are metaphors :-) *devilish grin

3:43am I think I want to be a ninja

You ever start catching on to the ‘red flags’ and early warning signs, but your ass is too busy smothering it with the mediocre good stuff. Diluting yourself with the “he’s so this…he’s so that…” Forgetting THE most important factor like “HE DOESN’T WANT YO ASS”. Yes he’ll sleep with you, go out with you, maybe even spend money on you, he probably even likes you, but WILL NOT call you his girl.#realitycheck Question: how long have u been “dating” (term used loosely)& you’re still not his girl?…what’s that you say?…yup, thought so.

Take a second, breathe. Now what are you going to do now?

1. Masturbating

2. Picking their nose

3.Digging out a wedgie

4. Eating (food or pussy)

5. Engaged in a battle involving light sabers and “the force”

6.Breast Feeding

7. Eating an eye booger

8. Biting their nails

9. Masturbating

10. Acting out a skit using teddy bears and Happy Meal toys

I’m inappropriate I know, but I like to think it’s one of my more likeable traits :-)

10. Sleeping

11

I want to be the one who makes you happy

Im the blues in your left thigh, but I want to be the funk in your right

todays mission: if only i could get my brain to stop thinking about you